Sexual Assault is a unique victimization and an extraordinarily stressful life event that can leave us experiencing a broad range of overwhelming and confusing emotions. Sexual assault is a crisis, and we all handle crises in different ways. Though each person is unique, the following list may help you know whats normal to expect.

• Emotional Shock:
  You may feel as if you are living in a dream.  You may not react the way you thought you were supposed to react so such trauma.    Often our body protects itself from reality until we are ready to cope with it. It is important to recognize and process the incident and the emotions that follow, but it is important to do so when you feel ready.
• Denial and Disbelief:
  Did it really happen? Maybe it wasnt really rape. You may want to act as though nothing occurred. This is a natural reaction, but is often destructive.  Sexual Assault is traumatizing and it is vital to recognize and process the emotions you are experiencing.
• Shame and Embarrassment:
  You may feel dirty and stained, you may fear that others will see you differently.
• Guilt and Self-Blame:
  You may worry that you did something to deserve your sexual assault. Remember: there is nothing you can do to deserve to be sexually violated! You are not at fault, even if you knew your attacker, even if you have been sexually intimate with that person or with others before, even if you were drinking or using drugs, even if you were wearing clothes that may seem seductive, even if you told your attacker you would have sex with them before, and changed your mind, even if you froze or were unable to fight back. No one has the right to sexually assault another person.
• Powerlessness:
  You may feel as if you have no control over your reality and that your life is no longer your own. It is important that you speak with someone that can help you regain ownership of your life and reclaim that power that your attacker took away from you.
• Deep Sadness or Depression:
  You may be especially tearful. You may be unable to think of anything but your experience. This is a normal reaction to sexual assault, but if this persists it is important that you seek counseling so that you can begin to work towards a healing process.
• Difficulty Coping:
  Often, after a trauma, everyday stressors that you used to be able to handle (such as a flat tire) may seem overwhelming and impossible to deal with.
• Fatigue:
  Why am I so tired? The emotions that follow a sexual assault are exhausting to experience. It is important that you allow yourself to be tired and give yourself time to rest.
• Disorientation:
  Where am I? Why do I keep forgetting things? You have a lot on your mind. Give yourself permission to be a little forgetful as you work towards the healing process.
• Fear:
  Im scared of everything. What if Im pregnant? Could I get an STD, or even AIDS? How can I ever feel safe again? Do people realize theres anything wrong? I cant sleep because I know Ill have nightmares. Im afraid Im going crazy. Im afraid to go outside. Im afraid to be alone.  The Victim Service Center/Sexual Assault Treatment Center can help you face these fears and find answers to these questions. The Sexual Assault Treatment Center provides free STD and pregnancy testing and prevention, whether you choose to report to law enforcement or not.
• Anxiety:
  You may begin to experience panic attacks. You may develop a consistent feeling of worry.  It is important to talk about these feelings and seek assistance should they begin to interfere with your everyday life.
• Anger:
  You may be angry at the offender (s); at yourself for not doing things that, in hindsight, might have protected you; at others for not protecting you or for not reacting the way that you hoped they would react to the stress you are experiencing as a result of the crime. You have every right to be angry! But be careful not to point your anger towards yourself or others. Your attacker is the one to blame!
• Loss of trust:
  In yourself, in others, maybe in God and/or your belief system.
• Physical Symptoms:
  The stress caused by the trauma and the emotions that follow may manifest itself in physical ailments and difficulties. See Reactions to Crime for more information.

Getting Back on Track
It is important for you to know that any of the above reactions are normal and temporary reactions to an abnormal event. The fear and confusion will lessen with time, but the trauma may disrupt your life for awhile. Some reactions may be triggered by people, places or things connected to the assault, while other reactions may seem to come from "out of the blue." Remember that no matter how much difficulty you're having dealing with the assault, it does not mean you're "going crazy" or becoming "mentally ill." The recovery process may actually help you develop strengths, insights, and abilities that you never had (or never knew you had) before.

Talking about the assault will help you feel better, but may also be really hard to do. In fact, it's common to want to avoid conversations and situations that may remind you of the assault. You may have a sense of wanting to "get on with life" and "let the past be the past." This is a normal part of the recovery process and may last for weeks or months.

Eventually you will need to deal with fears and feelings in order to heal and regain a sense of control over your life. Talking with someone who can listen in understanding and affirming ways-whether it's a friend, family member, hotline Advocate or counselor-is a key part of this process.

Ways to Take Care of Yourself

• Get support from friends and family-try to identify people you trust to validate your feelings and affirm your strengths.
• Talk about the assault and express feelings-choose when, where, and with whom to talk about the assault, and set limits by only disclosing information that feels safe for you to reveal.
• Use stress reduction techniques - hard exercise like jogging, aerobics, walking; relaxation techniques like yoga, massage, music, hot baths; prayer and/or meditation.
• Maintain a balanced diet and sleep cycle as much as possible and avoid overusing stimulants like caffeine, sugar, and nicotine.
• Discover your playful and creative "self." Playing and creativity are important for healing from hurt. Find time for noncompetitive play-start or resume a creative activity like piano, painting, gardening, handicrafts, etc.
• Take "time outs." Give yourself permission to take quiet moments to reflect, relax and rejuvenate-especially during times you feel stressed or unsafe.
• Try reading. Reading can be a relaxing, healing activity. Try to find short periods of uninterrupted leisure reading time.
• Consider writing or keeping a journal as a way of expressing thoughts and feelings.
• Release some of the hurt and anger in a healthy way: Write a letter to your attacker about how you feel about what happened to you. Be as specific as you can. You can choose to send the letter or not. You also can draw pictures about the anger you feel for your attacker as a way of releasing the emotional pain.
• Hug those you love. Hugging releases the body's natural pain-killers.

Remember you are safe, even if you don't feel it. The rape is over. It may take longer than you think, but you will feel better.

For Family & Friends
Remember - After a sexual assault, the person needs to:

• Obtain medical assistance.
• Feel safe
• Be believed.
• Know she or he was not at fault.
• Take control of his or her life.

Things you can do to help:

• Listen-don't judge. Try simply to understand the survivor's feelings.
• Offer shelter. If possible, stay with the person at a comfortable, reassuring place.
• Be there and give comfort. The survivor may need to talk a lot or at odd hours at the beginning. Be there as much as you can and encourage the survivor to talk to others.
• Encourage the person to seek professional help.  An advocate at the Victim Service Center/Sexual Assault Treatment Center can start this process and get the person the assistance they need.
• Be patient. Don't try to rush the healing process or "make it better."
• Accept the person's choice of what to do about the rape - don't be overly protective. Ask what is needed, help the survivor list some options, then encourage independent decision-making, even if you disagree. It is very important that the survivor make decisions and have them respected.
• Put aside your feelings and get support for yourself. It may be too overwhelming to deal with your angry feelings on top of the victim's. If you have strong angry feelings or feelings of blame toward the survivor, talk to a friend or contact our agency for assistance.

--Portions retrieved, with permission, from the University of Texas at Austin
Counseling and Mental Health Center Brochure: Becoming Whole Again: Healing from Sexual Assault.