Youth between the ages of 16 and 24 are most at risk of experiencing sexual assault. Know some steps you can take to protect yourself from dating violence or date rape. Remember, sexual assault is about power and control, not passion. Physical violence can also erupt when someone tries to exert power and control over another person.

Teenagers and young adults are typically trusting of other people their age. Whether you know one another from school, work, or just from seeing the other person around with other friends,familiarity often allows unearned trust to be given to peers.

People of any age who are inexperienced with dating or intimate relationships can mistake romantic feelings of being loved for being controlled and dominated by a possessive and potentially abusive partner.

Some signs your partner is into power and control not love might include the following:

Your partner needs to know where you are anytime you are not with them

• Your partner is critical of your friends, or is critical of you in front of your friends or others
• Your partner is verbally abusive, calling you negative names in jest or seriously, making cruel, negative remarks or threatening remarks to or about you
• Your partner demands intimacy whether you want to be intimate or not. This could be touching, hugging or kissing as well as sexual contact.
• Your partner has hit, poked, punched or pushed you and puts it off as just playing
• Your partner uses their anger to make you feel guilty, responsible for their feelings, or to make you comply with their wishes.
• Your partner has been violent or aggressive with others; they may blame the other person for the bad behavior
• Your partner uses drugs or alcohol
• Your partner is moody, quick to anger
• Your partner is mean to animals or other people
• Your partner tries to isolate you from friends and family, creating a space for the two of you where their power and control will not be challenged and you will have no support

What can you do to protect yourself?
If you are just beginning to know the person, spend time with them in group environments or meet them with friends so you have support if you see signs this person is into power and control. Ask around about them. Notice who their friends are and what kind of behaviors they practice. Tell your friends where you are and who you are with. Dont go off with the person alone. Dont consume drugs or alcohols with them; when your defenses are down you are an easy target for someone who wants to take control of you.